“Coming out is when a person decides to reveal an important part of who they are with someone in their life. For many LGBTQ people, this involves sharing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Coming out isn’t always easy. After thinking it through, you may decide not to come out. You are valid and deserve support no matter who you do or do not share your identities with. Remember, there isn’t one right way to come out, and it’s YOUR choice”

—The Trevor Project

Every year National Coming Out Day (October 11) honors those brave individuals who have come out as LGBTQ or as a straight ally for equality. Homophobia and transphobia thrive in silence, and the act of coming out when it feels safe enough to do so makes it easier for others to do the same. When people know someone who is LGBTQ, they are far more likely to support equality under the law.

Every person who speaks up changes hearts and minds, and creates new advocates for equality.

The Mass General Brigham EAP is here to help you navigate this process and to assist those who want to support someone else in this process.

Coming Out Supports from HRC

• General Coming Out Resources
• Workplace
• Living Authentically as Transgender or Non-Binary
• Faith Communities
• National Coming Out Day, October 11

“For a lot of people, learning that someone they know and care about is LGBT[Q] can open a range of emotions, from confused to concerned, awkward to honored. It may be hard to know how to react, leaving you with questions about what to say, how to talk about being LGBT[Q] and wanting to know what you can do to be supportive. An ‘ally’ is a term used to describe someone who is supportive of LGBT[Q] people. It encompasses non-LGBT[Q] allies as well as those within the LGBT[Q] community who support each other.”
– Human Rights Campaign

The resources below can help to answer questions and suggest ways to support LGBTQ+ friends, family members, co-workers and others. For further assistance, contact the EAP at 866-724-4327.

• American Bar Association – Ally Toolkit
• GLAAD – Be an Ally & a Friend
• National Center for Transgender Equality – A Guide to Being a Good Ally
• National Center for Transgender Equality – How to be Respectful and Supportive to Non-Binary People
• Out & Equal – Ally Tips for the Workplace
• MGH Institute for Health Professionals – How to Support Non-Binary and Trans Colleagues at Work
• Family Equality Council
• Greater Boston Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
• Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition
• National Center for Transgender Equality

Microaggressions

• EAP – Microaggressions – How Our Beliefs and Attitudes Can Harm
• APA –  How to Confront Microaggressions

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Mass General Brigham and its hospitals strive to be advocates for diversity and equal opportunity and a respectful, inclusive work environment. Below are some workplace resources for the LGBTQ+ communities and their allies. Please contact the EAP at 866-724-4327 if you need further assistance.

• HRC – Religion, Faith and LBGTQ
• PFLAG – Faith FAQ

• GLAD – Legal Advocates and Defenders
• Lambda Legal 
• Massachusetts Transgender Legal Advocates 
• National Center for Lesbian Rights 
• Transgender Law Center

When a LGBTQ+ person is abusive to their partner, we often do not recognize it as domestic violence because of false expectations that men should be able to defend themselves and stereotypes that all women are safe, or that both partners are equally abusive.

The truth is that domestic abuse is a serious problem and can occur in any relationship. An individual’s size, strength, faith, politics or personality does not determine whether he or she can be abused or be an abuser. As with heterosexual domestic abuse, domestic abuse in gay and queer communities cuts across all class, faith and race lines.

Finding safety and support may be difficult for the victim of LGBTQ+ partner violence or sexual assault. Abusers have the additional power of threatening to expose their partners if their partners are not “out” to their families or employers. A lesbian batterer may work as a battered women’s advocate and have easy access to shelters. Gay men may not be taken seriously by police or judges who assume their conflict is mutual combat rather than a pattern of abuse. Transgender victims often confront prejudice from police and others based on their appearance.

Community organizations sensitive to these issues are good resources for safety planning, crisis intervention and prevention. The organizations below provide information about LGBTQ+ domestic abuse, prevention services and referrals to community resources that are informed and attuned to LGBTQ+ concerns.

• CDC – Intimate Partner Violence Fact Sheet
• Emerge
• The Network – La Red – Ending Abuse in Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Communities
• Fenway Health – Violence Recovery Program

Hotlines

• Domestic Violence Hotline
  877-785-2020
• Boston Area Rape Crisis Center
  1-800-841-8371
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  1-800-799-7233