Find your Own Path to Combat Loneliness during the Holidays & Beyond

According to social media and TV commercials, Holidays are great for everyone and include only perfect experiences. In real life, this Season is more of a mixed emotional bag, ranging from happy to “can’t wait for January 2nd.” For many, it’s a challenging time, particularly for those who feel lonely or isolated. While loneliness is not reserved for December, it might feel more pronounced during the Holidays. Some reasons include:

• Physical distance from loved ones
• Estrangement from family
• Not having romantic or friend relationships to fill the void
• Grieving a loss
• Having to work
• Depression

It’s important to make a distinction between being alone and being lonely.  Many people are quite comfortable or even prefer being by themselves. Others may feel lonely even when they are not actually alone. Whatever your situation, there are things you can do to make it easier to get through the Holidays. Consider taking some control by identifying what might be helpful and productive for you. While you may not be able to change all circumstances, even a small pivot can bring you out of the Holidays in a better position.

Find Other Areas of Focus
Identify options for productive distraction to take the attention off of what is stressful.

Get a jump start on goals for next year. You don’t need to wait for January 1  

• Get organized in your home. Clean out closets
• Start a new routine for healthy eating, exerciseor mindfulness
• Try a new hobby

Volunteer in your community

It can be rewarding, gets you out of the house and provides social connection.

• Mass Non-profit Resources 
• Boston Cares
• Community Servings
• Reward Volunteers Coop
• Animal Rescue League of Boston

Take Time to Take Care of Yourself

For a variety of reasons, it’s common to let self-care go by the wayside during the Holidays. It’s even more likely if we feel down or stressed. The truth is we counteract some negative feelings if we focus on our well-being.

• Engage in activities that fulfill you
• Try not to completely abandon healthy lifestyle goals. Exercise, sleep and a good diet can actually support better functioning, physically and emotionally
• Avoid alcohol as a coping mechanism. Inevitably drinking will make you feel worse

Just because you feel lonely doesn’t mean you have to be alone

• Take a chance and reach out to a friend, co-worker or other person in your community
• If you want to establish new connections, join a gym, book club or try Meetup
• Set up time to meet family virtually
• Take steps to mend a rift with a family member or friend

Acknowledge or find support for grief, which can exacerbate loneliness

• Hospice Foundation – Grief during the Holidays
• Mass General Brigham EAP –  Grief Resources

Be Kind to Yourself

Although it might not feel like it, you are not the only one who struggles with feeling lonely.  Lots of people experience this at the Holidays or in general.  When others show perfection on the outside, it’s not necessarily an accurate representation of their life in reality. Cut yourself a break if you don’t feel your best. Experiencing challenges is not a sign of weakness.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

• If the loneliness is tied to the Holidays, this is a finite time period
• There is not one way to “be” during the Holidays. Traditions vary based on religion, family culture and personal preference
• Don’t put pressure on yourself to fit into a mold of what you think society expects

Don’t Worry Alone – Ask for Help

Try to differentiate between situational loneliness and conditions such as depression.

If at any time you feel that you can’t cope on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out. It’s OK not to be OK at the Holidays or any time. Remember even if you feel lonely, you are not alone.

• Connect with a friend or someone you trust
• Contact the EAP at 1-866-724-4327 or request an appointment via the website
• Reach out for spiritual support in your community or at MGB
• If you’re concerned about suicide for yourself or someone you care about, click here for information about in-the-moment assistance
• The “R U OK?” program has some guidance about how to approach a friend in need

Additional EAP article addressing Holiday stress:
Navigating Family Relationships During the Holidays

Help from the EAP

The EAP offers free and confidential services for employees and immediate household family members. EAP records are separate from medical and HR records. Contact the EAP at 866-724-4327 or request an appointment via our online form for confidential assistance. In-person appointments are available at the following locations.  Phone or Video (Zoom) appointments are available from all locations.