RESILIENCE: BEING ABLE TO BOUNCE BACK FROM STRESS
Resilience is having the skills or attributes to recover quickly from a mental, physical or emotional crisis. Some individuals seem to have a natural ability to bounce back from adverse circumstances. Others have to learn how to become resilient.
Traits that Promote Resilience
Sense of Humor: finds humor in life – able to laugh at self
Humble: realistic about both talents and faults ‑ recognizes strengths and weaknesses ‑ modest ‑ unpretentious ‑ receptive ‑ listens and considers
Balanced: dynamic ‑ wise ‑ lives judiciously ‑ is flexible and adaptable
Autonomous: has and enforces safe boundaries between self and others – emotionally distances self from destructive people, environments and life situations ‑ self-reliant ‑ unique
Relationally Healthy: values people – empathic ‑ seeks to know and understand others ‑ chooses healthy people to be with ‑ relationships characterized by a balance of give and take ‑ cooperative ‑ comfortable with people/comfortable alone
Creative: self-expresses through art forms (music, writing, painting, dance, etc.) ‑ values own inner world ‑ has an aesthetic sense ‑ comes at things from varying perspectives ‑ tries new things
Self-Motivated: masters problems ‑ takes the initiative and takes responsibility for actions ‑ courageous ‑ persistent ‑ optimistic and confident ‑ willing to endure reasonable pain for the sake of growth
Content: alive in the moment ‑ able to learn from or make the most of the difficult and enjoy the good ‑ grateful ‑ generous – non-anxious ‑ holds reasonable expectations
Traits that Lessen Resilience
Humorless: melancholy – hopeless – self-pitying
Self-absorbed: egotistical ‑ narcissistic ‑ unwilling to admit faults ‑ possesses a sense of entitlement ("people owe me special consideration") ‑ seeks attention ‑ stubborn ‑ controlling
Extremist: radical ‑ reactive ‑ emotionally impulsive or over-controlled ‑ either minimizes or maximizes
Isolator: plays the hermit – tends to run away from both helpful and hurtful people and situations – self-sabotages
Dependent: ties to needy or caregiving individuals ‑ enmeshed – no balance in relationships – rigid roles – continues to choose unhealthy types of individuals and groups in attachments, affiliations and community relationships ‑ desperate in relationships
Patterned Behavior: predictable – worries – obsesses ‑ resorts to the same solutions even when those have been proven to be inadequate ‑ shuns new things
Passive: feels and acts as having no power – fatalistic – life dictates what can or cannot be done – life characterized by procrastination – pessimistic – lacks energy
Discontent/Resigned: dissatisfied ‑ covetous ‑ mired in the past – believes what has happened determines what will happen ‑ fatalistic ‑ whiny
Originally published by Stress Solutions in 2003 and reprinted with permission.
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This content was last modified on: 07/29/2013